No guy has ever screwed me over the way the 405 has.#LAGirlprobs

My therapist is screening my calls. How is not being able to decide between Urth and Kings Road Cafe not an 'emergency'?#LAGirlprobs

My therapist says I have commitment issues, so I bought an annual subscription to Vogue. #LAGirlprobs

I just wanna watch a movie without seeing an ex. #LAGirlprobs


So now, I get that it's my fault for like dating the same 'type' of guy over and over. But really, in Hollywood find me a guy that isn't an actor/model/writer/waiter/improv-student and you know, isn't the homeless guy that pushes his cart down Sunset, and I might even date him. Better still, I may even listen when he talks and let him buy me dinner. That is correct: an actual meal. No carbs though, let's not get crazy. 


P.S. The guy had better be Tom Hardy. But like, retired from acting. And modeling. And being engaged. Oh screw it .

Paris Hilton is on my list. And not my Gratitude List. #LAGirlprobs


Now I love Paris as much as the next LA girl, but when you're favorite, one-a-kind Temperley dress is the casualty of an encounter with said 'It' Girl. Then unfortunately she must take her place on the list. The list that shall be henceforth known as my UNGratitude list. Because I am afraid to say that Paris Hilton threw a drink at me, I survived, my dress did not. The issue at stake? I may have been a tiny bit sitting at her table at Chateau. But she's (legitimately) crazy if she thinks i'm saving her a spot at Urth Cafe next Wednesday. Par for the course, I always said Nicole was the one to watch. 

My "best friend" totes lied about her boob job THREE years ago. I've been taking these placebo pills for nada. #Unforgivable?#LAGirlprobs

Or maybe i'll just give a girl my parking spot...#LAGirlprobs